Last night lingers on my mind
a black hole in my heart.
Any joy that might enter
is swallowed in the darkness of the thought
that I'm not meant for you.
But you see what I am. You saw what I was.
We all change throughout our lives,
keeping the base theme throughout,
overwritten by the constant change around us.
But the past is always there. Our true selves remain.
You have never forgotten. You always see the truth within me.
Or is it nostalgia?
I hope it's the truth.
I could not bear it if this is how I truly am.
Why are you still on my mind, after all these years? You broke me, left me stranded. I suffered, but I rebuilt myself and my life. I moved on, and I found real happiness.
So then why are you still around in my head, beating on the inside of my mind? Is it mere curiosity at what you've become? Is it because I cared about you so much at one point, that I always wonder what roads you traveled?
Sometimes people come into your life and they leave a mark. That mark can be awful. That mark can be beautiful. Often, the mark is both. Just because thoughts linger doesn't mean a thing. It only means that mark remains.
So I'll sit here with my thoughts. I'll let them go. I'll let them wander. They may return to me, and they may not, but my life now is something you helped to make. I can't imagine life being better with you.
Past to present
Here I am floating in a sea of wonder
At what you've become
What journey did you take?
What trials forced blood from beneath your fingernails?
What brought tears; what brought anger hissing from behind your teeth?
What difference twenty years can make
An entire lifetime separated
I'm proud to have known you when
Prouder to see you smiling now